A full moon reflects down on LeeSue Ranch here on the east coast of the North American continent.  Clear skies away from city lights allow the stars to shine just as bright as the moon.  Flashlights and headlights are not necessary because the dirt road path is lit by the sun’s massive reflection off the surface of the entire moon.  Slowly I roll up to the house to see The Chief of the Ranch, wide awake and cautious at first but once he recognizes my scent it’s time to play.  A lively little fellow after having no attention or anyone to play with all day long he brings me his duck, a training toy to teach him to retrieve not that any Golden Retriever ever had to be taught this innate trait.  I throw it and he returns it time after time.  A game he would never tire of I am sure but the weather is a bit chilly out on this November night so I head into the empty house.  No children are here this evening but I know at one point they were here by their arts and crafts plastered on the fridge.  Some are incoherent globs of stick people with guns and big tired trucks and others are pretty green grass, sun always blazing, tidy white fenced houses, flower gardens, and always “I Love” statements written in pink.  They are not here right now but I know that they once were and Lord willing they will return soon.  The house is cold and empty and it will be simply me and Chief here on LeeSue Ranch this evening, the way it was last night and more than likely the way it will be tomorrow as well.  She isn’t here either, hasn’t been for a while.  Just like the children she has left her mark here and there around the house and just like the children she is not here right now but she once was and hopefully one day will be again.  The silly thing is I notice that not even the field mice are around any longer.  I don’t know if I caught them all, the tractor mowed them down while cutting the fields or Chief is starting to be a really good hunting dog.  I fix a solo meal, a single cup, and slide one chair out from the table.  A single meal for a single man in the solitude and privacy of his empty home a routine reminiscent of younger years spent alone.  A hot shower with an endless supply of scalding water, somewhat of a rare feature when more than one person lives in a house and a king sized bed to sprawl across without ever hitting the edge of the bed or the edge of someone else.  It once was the children that snuggled up so close at night and for years they stayed right next to me but they are not here right now.  After the children it was her, the sheet queen, the snuggle bunny but like I said before Chief and I are the only ones here this evening.  Dozing off and dazing outside the window at the glow of the sun that reflects off the moon I am sent off into the night while thinking about this phenomenon.  How silly are we that until we can associate one of our senses with something that we tend to question its existence.  I’m not talking about Sasquatch or the Loch Ness Monster.  How foolish would it sound for me to say I don’t believe in the Sun?  I can clearly see the Sun’s effect on the moon and knowing what I know I can wait until tomorrow and see the Sun directly.  The same silly notion makes me think of my loved ones.  Simply because they are not here and I can’t place one of the ordinary five senses on them doesn’t mean they aren’t real.  And surely I couldn’t say because I can’t paint a certain quantity of ‘Love’ bright blue and place it in a box with a bow that I don’t love them.  Or even more critical to me on this lonely night, since they have never gift wrapped a bowed box with X amount of ‘Love’ painted bright blue and given it to me does this mean that they do not love me dearly?  By no means, I can see the effects of them being in my life and the love they have for me in/on my life the same as the sun on the moon. 

So yes here I sleep, alone on this cold November evening shortly after Thanksgiving the way I did last night and will do once again tomorrow.  However, I am not alone in spirit, friendship, or love and wherever they might be they are not alone either.  I am with them and they are with me and at this moment we might not be able to see one another but then again I can’t see the sun right now either but I know it exists.  See you at dawn my loved ones but until then I’ll admire you through the moon.

Take it easy,

Derrick Lee Myers