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8/6/2009 Full. Just recently looked back to find out it has been a while since I have
written anything. Life has slid me into the fast lane, or I had just
noticed that I have been in the fast lane so long I had forgotten there
was a slow lane. Either way here I am barreling down a dead end
highway with retaining walls on both sides ensuring no escape from my
demise as this road comes to an end. This silly road, it has been a
winding mountainous road for so long and now toward the end it
straightens out, the pavement smooths, and the speed increases. In
spite of this insidious tumultuous series of events I find myself
sailing alone in calm easy peaceful waters. The antithesis of where I
was, I find myself with a light breeze across my ship and away from the
certain annihilation that once was impending. Such a light breeze
certainly couldn't carry this ship far but amazingly my sheets are
full, my ship pitches over, and I allow myself to be carried down such
an unusual direction for me. The breeze picks up strength and luckily
for my sturdy keel that holds me, I am not right but I am just to the
left of being right, and the pitch increases to take us even further.
Carrying an even greater speed we travel aimlessly and aimlessly is our
intent. What direction do we really need in this adventure? What is
the point of creating a destination to this journey other than enjoying
the journey itself? Sideways is the way my ship sits now with every
one of my sheets I have set sail completely full. Full is a great
feeling for a sheet because all surface areas are being tantalized by
the wind. There are no creases, folds, or flailing of the sheet when
full but only a constant tugging of the sheet on the rings attached to
the boats masts, pushing of wind into/through/around every inch of the
sheet, and this continual driving force of wind and I am grateful she
has given it to me. Forward is the direction we travel, if forward is
really a direction of travel because who is to say we aren't really
going backward in our efforts as we sail by the feeling of the wind.
But in our own mind's eye forward is the direction we go. I assume a
better descriptor of the direction we go would be our direction for it
really isn't forward and it really isn't anyone else's direction but
simply our direction. The wind and I sail in our direction with my
ship set sideways and my sheets full, we sail. She brushes past me and
misses not one piece of my being in her path toward the sheets and she
fills the sheets with love, kindness, happiness, joy, excitement, and
beauty but mainly she fills the sheets with herself and that is enough
to set me pitched over sideways and a feeling of fullness that has
eluded me for a while. Let us set sail peacefully, pull me slowly,
take me gently in our direction my sweet 'Al Di La'... I hope I can
feel this completeness of being full for sometime. Take it easy, Derrick Lee Myers TrackbacksWeblogs that reference this entry
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